“I am not a mother. I don’t have small children that I have to take care of when they get sick that I have to pick up from school every day, or to whom I have to give my full attention and love. I do not have family responsibilities and, therefore, I do not have the right to reconcile either”. These are the words of Eva, a 45-year-old woman who has decided not to have children and who, therefore, cannot benefit from conciliation measures.
The issue of reconciling family and work lives is today one of the biggest concerns of workers at the time they make the decision to be parents. Thousands of questions pile up in their heads: What happens if one day the child suddenly gets sick and I have no one to leave him with? Will I still be able to put in the same number of hours at work after staying up all night watching my son? Will I lose money if I take advantage of the legal conciliation measures? It is completely true that having children is not easy and it is even less so if you add a long work day to this arduous task. But… Do not people who are not mothers also have obligations? Why do not they have the right to reconcile?
Labor conciliation seen from another point of view
One thing is clear: conciliation is necessary. The legal measures that currently exist in Spain regarding conciliation are fair, although to be honest, they are also somewhat insufficient compared to other neighboring countries. But, that is a separate topic. What Eva really wonders is: What happens to people who have decided not to be parents? Aren’t couples, siblings and parents also family, even though they are not dependent on us? Don’t we have the right to be able to combine our work life with our private life?? Don’t we have the right to enjoy a walk with our boyfriend/girlfriend, reading a good book or a yoga session to relax in the gym? Are we condemned to work, work and more work?
First of all, Eva makes it clear that this is not a war of mothers against non-mothers. On the contrary. It is a common battle for all women to ensure that companies build a fair environment in which mothers can have adequate hours that allow them to be by the side of their children and non-mothers do not assume the excessive excess workload.
One of the reasons why Eva decided not to have children was the fact that she could have more time for herself. However, that time is being reduced because she has to assume part of the functions of the colleagues who do have children, not because of them, but because the companies do not apply their conciliation measures correctly. As Eva herself affirms, having children or not having them is a totally personal and respectable decision and both the people who have them and those who do not have the right to enjoy a full private life outside of work. In her case specifically, she is not like that. Eva has not been able to coincide with her partner on vacation for five years since her fellow mothers have preference when it comes to choosing vacations and they usually do so in a way that coincides with the school ones, that is, in the middle of summer and just when her partner can also enjoy of yours Doesn’t Eva have the right to reconcile with her partner? Are Eva and her boyfriend only family if they have children?
In addition to the issue of vacations, Eva does not have a preference when it comes to choosing hours and if she has to work on a weekend, she also has to do it. “If I have a friend or relative’s wedding on a Saturday and I have to work, I have to put up with it and miss the wedding. My “excuse” is not as acceptable to the bosses as being a mother”, she affirms.
What is the solution to this? Eva thinks that beyond being a legal problem, the issue of reconciliation is also a problem of the mentality of the society in which we live. A society that to this day continues to believe that motherhood is much more respectable than non-motherhood. That is the first point that we have to try to change.
Why people who do not have children also have the right to reconcile?
- All women have the right to decide if they want to be mothers or not without fearing that the decision could harm them at a professional and private level.
- All women have the right to enjoy a full personal life whether or not they are mothers.
- All women have the right to have a fair and dignified working day.
- Many women who are not mothers do not ask to have reduced working hours, they simply want not to have to carry the work of other people because in companies mothers always tend to take precedence over those who are not.
What the law says in Spain and in other countries?
In Spain, the legal measures to reconcile family and work life can be divided into two: On the one hand, there are the paid ones (maternity and paternity leave, lactation leave, sick leave, accident, surgical intervention or death of a family member) and on the other hand, the unpaid (possibility of reducing hours or excellence for family care). In addition to these measures, which are included in Law 39/1999, many companies establish their own measures to expand the conciliation options of their workers. Such as the preference in the choice of hours or vacations, the existence of nurseries in the workplace itself or the extension of the legal periods of maternity or lactation leave. However, the word ‘reconcile’ refers exclusively to the relationship between family and professional life and, therefore, it is not applicable to those people who do not have dependents.
In the case of Spain, the working day is 40 hours a week, although on many occasions this number ends up increasing and ends up being much higher. However, it has already been shown that on many occasions the number of hours dedicated to work does not translate into productivity… This is something that is widely assumed in countries like the Netherlands or Denmark where working hours are 29 and 34 hours a week respectively. This allows its citizens to perfectly reconcile their family and personal lives. These countries also stand out for their flexible policies and good economic management. Germany, for its part, has 35-hour workweeks, which also allows women who are mothers and all those who are not to have much more free time.
